Surrogacy: The open secret

09:16 20th May 2019 | surrogacy

After 9 years of marriage, *Kate was more than distraught. She was on the verge of giving up. She had watched as all her friends became mothers, even the ones who got married after her. One by one, they bore their offspring, some even had multiples. Beautiful children. Energetic. Healthy. Smart. She watched as these children transited her friends into parenthood. She would attend birthday parties of their kids wearing the brightest smiles but masking her bitter heart and depressed soul. Where are You, Lord? When will I bear my own child?

*Tom was a very loving husband, in spite of their childlessness. He would shower her with love and presents, but these amounted to nothing for her. She was consistently disappointed in herself. Natural conception didn’t work and after several fertility treatments and 4 failed IVF procedures, her doctors recommended adoption or surrogacy.

Adoption would be good but she wanted a genetic relationship with her child. Her child.

Surrogacy

How would she do it? Who would volunteer their womb? By her religious standards, this was absolutely going to raise speculations.

Tom was open to the option, as long as it made his wife happy. Kate, however, speculated for a very long time before considering the option, with encouragement from her family and very close friends who knew her challenges.

Today, Tom and Kate are proud parents of twins, thanks to a gestational surrogate they used with their own gametes.

The speculation around surrogacy continues to cause serious debate here in Nigeria. Legal implications, ethical bases, religious grounds, and moral justifications make the core of these debates. Some people with “westernized” mindsets have absolutely no problem with it, like Tom. Others, like Kate, are very sensitive about the topic, referring to it as “her husband sleeping with another woman” even though actual intercourse doesn’t take place. For women who use their siblings/close family as surrogates, incest is presumed to have taken place. In religious sects, people continue to “believe” that God “will do it” for them and rule out surrogacy, seeing it as a “disruption of the natural process of things.”

The truth remains that surrogacy continues to pave a way for couples who have tried every other option, but kept hitting dead ends. To some, surrogacy is an extreme that needs to be curbed. To others, it is the light at the end of the tunnel. The last resort. The only ray of hope left in their near-shattered world. To these people, surrogacy opens their door to the pitter-patter of little feet. It defeats the odds and brings back the joy that childlessness had stolen from them for years.

Through our expertise, our Clinic helped bring the first surrogacy-conceived baby into Nigeria. We believe every couple experiencing fertility issues has a right to all available options of treatment, and surrogacy is not any less an option. Just because Mrs. A thinks its “extreme” doesn’t mean Mrs B can’t go ahead with it. Assisted Reproduction is a revolutionary medical breakthrough and we are proud advocates of surrogacy in Nigeria.

If you are like Kate and Tom, and you’ve been expecting a miracle but seem to have lost all hope, there is an option you can consider. Surrogacy. But first thing’s first. Our fertility physicians would need to examine you to know the exact cause for your infertility and if all other treatment options are ruled out, surrogacy is your way-to-go. **Contact us today on how you can become a parent through the miracle of surrogacy

*Not their real names

**At Bridge Clinic, we allow our clients to choose their own surrogates, we do not procure/recruit surrogates. The surrogate will undergo screening tests and health checks to ensure that they are fit to carry the pregnancy